Smash the Binary, Save the Sex Drive
What if your sex drive isn’t low—it’s just sick of performing gender?
This week on Untamed Ember, we’re breaking up with the binary and reclaiming pleasure outside the tired-ass scripts of “dominant vs submissive” and “masc vs femme.” From heteronormativity hangovers to queer power dynamics gone rigid, we’re exposing how gender roles sabotage sexuality—and how to rewire your erotic brain for curiosity, consent, and actual turn-ons. If you’ve ever felt boxed in by your role in bed, this one’s for you.
patriarchy and pleasure, gender roles and sexuality, shame and sex, queer relationship dynamics, sexual liberation, unlearning purity culture
Shame Wasn’t Invited, But It Showed Up Loud Anyway
You didn’t wake up one day and decide your body was a problem. That sht was planted. Watered. Fertilized with shame. This post is your rage-fueled permission slip to stop performing, start reclaiming, and take your damn pleasure back—with science, sass, and absolutely zero apologies.
Who Gave the Patriarchy a Microphone?: A Shame Detox for Your Search Bar
Shame didn’t start with you—it started with centuries of systems hellbent on keeping you disconnected from your own damn pleasure. In this fiery, trauma-informed deep dive, we break down how patriarchy, purity culture, and colonial control shaped your shame story—and how to rewrite it with science, sass, and unapologetic self-trust. Because your pleasure isn’t a problem to fix. It’s a revolution to join.
The Erotic Cost of Being ‘Good’: How People-Pleasing Kills Pleasure
The “good girl” narrative doesn’t leave room for turn-ons, preferences, or messy pleasure. Here’s how people-pleasing wrecks sex—and how to reclaim your erotic autonomy.
Why Neurodivergent Brains Can’t ‘Just Relax’ During Sex
“Just relax” doesn’t work when your nervous system is juggling 47 browser tabs and your socks are committing sensory crimes. This post is for every ND body tired of being told pleasure should be easy
Is This Turn-On or Trauma?
Arousal isn’t always consent. And sometimes what looks like desire is actually your nervous system trying to survive. Here’s how to tell the difference—without shame, and without rushing your healing.
Your Brain on Purity Culture
If your nervous system flinches at foreplay, you might be recovering from a virginity-obsessed cult. Don’t worry—so are we. Let’s talk about what purity culture really did to your brain.
Reclaiming Pleasure After Shame and Sensory Burnout
Ever cried after sex, ghosted your own desire, or felt like your body just... shuts the fuck down? You’re not broken—you’re burnt out. Let’s reclaim pleasure like your nervous system depends on it. (Because it kinda does.)